


if she can then i sure can

by HerbertBest



Category: Game Grumps
Genre: Family Feels, Forks in the Road, Gen, Introspection, Parenthood, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-22
Updated: 2017-01-22
Packaged: 2018-09-19 05:43:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9421112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HerbertBest/pseuds/HerbertBest
Summary: Dan's new daughter is not an easy sleeper.





	

**Author's Note:**

> The song Dan is singing to Cammy is [Twinkle](http://www.yessaid.com/lyrics/1996boysforpele/18twinkle.html) by Tori Amos. 
> 
> Hey, Dan had a crush on Liz Phair when he was younger; if he knew Liz he has to know a bit of Tori.
> 
> This is a part of the Pack 'verse and will be easier to understand if you read the other fics in the verse.

_”Sure them stars can twinkle,”_ Dan murmured, his hand rubbing large, slow circles on Cammy’s back as he pushed the rocker to and fro with toes pressed to her changing table. The baby gurgled and moved, counter-rhythm to his intentions, fists kneading at the collar of his open robe.

Cammy was not like Rhea, who had demanded to be held at her age for any and every reason, or Zip, who was a heavy sleeper even as a toddler. Cammy was more wakeful, more curious, wanting to take in everything going on around her, as if she were afraid of missing out on anything.

He kissed the top of her head and rested his recently-shaved chin against the top of her head. Very carefully he climbed to his feet and carried her to the threshold. 

Okay, he could do this. 

_”and you are watching it do...”_ he sing-whispered into her hair, parting slowly the nursery door and then through its cracked opening, walking toward the living room. 

The hallway glimmered like a cave of secrets in the low light, and Dan drifted through it like a friendly ghost. His eyes scanned the girl’s bedroom door and he peeked around its open side quickly; to his relief Rhea and Zip lay where he’d left them, Rhea with her feet and arms akimbo snoring and drooling, Zip curled up on her side. 

He knew very well that this was a sight that might have been denied him, had he chosen another direction – chosen singleness, the panacea of work, and the awkwardness of absentee fatherhood. 

The feeling in his throat was a little bit like the sensation he’d get from sipping good champagne. A tingle of joy, combined with a slight clench of worry. Love was like that. Especially love you’d almost missed out on.

 _”I’m sure she’s watching it too,”_ he sang into Cammy’s hair.

Fuck. He’d lost his place.

He took another four steps, to the bedroom he shared with Arin and Suzy. His own big bed was in there, and in the glow of a night light he saw Suzy, lying flat on her back like a tragic mermaid fished out of an inky black sea. Beside her was Arin, curled up in boxers and a teeshirt emblazoned with spinning magical girls, twirling around his still-swollen belly with staffs at ready, as if they were trying to protect him from pain, harm, ripped stitches and spilling blood. 

Dan knew he was the cause of that spilled blood, understood that his husband had undergone incredible pain for him. It was humbling and frightening as when Suzy had begging him to knot her for the first time yet brought a hot streak of guilt with it. Guilt and love – yeah, those feelings had a way of twining together like battling angels, too.

On the couch sat Holly and Ross’ cell phones, abandoned during movie night so they could get some pre-Pax peace in Holly’s backyard Mage tower. He was looking forward to their convention stories over dinner. Hell, he was looking forward to the ordeal that would be back-to-school shopping with his daughters that afternoon. 

_“But I can see that star when she twinkles, and she twinkles…”_ Dan met Cammy’s gaze and the baby’s head had craned up from his shoulder, watching the living room pass by as he walked. “You’re not a lyrics girl, are you?” he whispered. She babbled and pulled at his hair, laughing and reaching for his nose. “Whoof, OK, couch time.”

Dan watched Cammy’s face as the girl popped her head onto his shoulder. He sang the song twice through and thought about grabbing a snack, popping on some Rush, watching some mindless action movie until Cammy was too hypnotized to do anything but sleep.

This was his life now, just as important as adventure and laughter and music and travel and sex, and even when he’d been at the height of his happiness in his before-life – hiking through Oregon with his now-husband, sitting at his grandmother’s knee and feeling her arms wrap around him, watching the Giants score a 70-69 last-minute win, hearing the biggest crowd he’d ever played to chant his Dad’s name – nothing compared to the strange simplicity of sitting there watching the active mind of his daughter pick between sleep and play. And he wouldn’t trade it away for starlight, moondust, beautiful women, exotic locations. For nothing.

He felt her relax against him gradually, letting the night pull her off to dreamland. “Okay, Camilla Ruth. Let’s take this home.” he said to the sleeping girl, letting her little fingers relax on his neck as he padded back to the nursery in the company of fresh autumn moonlight.


End file.
